It always springs up suddenly. You can spend months playing out different scenarios in your head, and then one day, bam! An email arrives, accompanied by the usual panic rush of an email notification. You sit there trying to steady your breathing while rapidly scanning the contents.
It is an acceptance. After months and months of rejections and no-replies, here it is, an acceptance. Yet somehow, it doesn’t feel quite as you had imagined. But there’s hardly room for negotiation. So you push aside the nagging thoughts and graciously accept the offer.
The human mind is a strange thing. We talk about stages of grief, but good news also takes its own sweet time to process. To avoid facing the discomfort before acceptance, you jump right into figuring out the logistics.
Booking a flight is easy. You are one traveler; the plane will likely always have room for you. Finding a room to stay in, however, is the tricky part. Initially, it’s exciting — so many options: Rotating Room, Furnished Finder, Airbnb, Craigslist, FB Marketplace, WhatsApp groups. You are bound to find something, right? Oh, the naivety!
Once you begin the painstaking process of whittling down options,
“This is too far.”
“This is too expensive.”
“This seems scammy.”
“This person won’t reply.”
“This doesn’t fit my needs.” (Ok fine, I admit that’s just me)
you soon realize you have exhausted all your options.
There is one thing I know about help: it tends to come from the most unexpected places when you least expect it. I also know that no matter how hard you try, you cannot skip the several hundred cycles of alternating between hopefulness and hopelessness, and directly jump to the point of acceptance. Alas, you must go through the pain to reach the other side.
A slow dread starts creeping in. Where do you go all alone in a foreign land? Who do you turn to? For a moment, you consider canceling the rotation to escape the anxiety of traveling, but opportunities are hard to come by. Deep down, you know you’d be opting for the easy way out. So you sigh, buckle up, and try messaging one more person in a desperate attempt for something to work out. This time, you receive a reply.
There is one thing I know about help: it tends to come from the most unexpected places when you least expect it. I also know that no matter how hard you try, you cannot skip the several hundred cycles of alternating between hopefulness and hopelessness, and directly jump to the point of acceptance. Alas, you must go through the pain to reach the other side.
So now that you have an offer, plane tickets, and a rental agreement, the reality starts sinking in. Things are happening for you. They may not be what you expected or how you wanted them to be. Regardless, life is moving forward, and you must say your goodbyes —to your family and to all the what-could-have-beens.
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